By: Shayla Lee
As a music lover, getting to see my favorite artists perform live is one of my favorite things ever. I have been lucky enough to go to quite a few concerts and although the majority of these experiences have been absolutely amazing, I have noticed the same types of people seem to appear at every concert or festival I’ve been to. Here are 10 types of people you will see at a concert.
1.) The “My Friend Is Up There” – Male. 27. He appears about 10 minutes before the show starts by pushing his way through the crowd. As he pushes through everyone, his negative energy causes the entire crowd to split in half. Nobody wants to deal with this guy. He pleas with everyone to let him go in front because “his friend is up there.” If he gets called out on it he denies it, “why would he lie?”. Sometimes fighting ensues, sometimes people form a human barrier, but most times he ends up making it to the front, annoying everyone in his path, and not finding his friend because “My Friend Is Up There” doesn’t actually have friends because he’s a dick.
2.) The Instagram Star – Female. 21. This girl needs her 900 Instagram followers to know she is at the concert. She records herself singing along to the songs with the front camera on herself (cringe) and she didn’t wear a jacket even though it’s the middle of winter because it fits her aesthetic better.
3.) The Beer Bro – Male. 28. This guy leaves multiple times during the set to get alcohol, usually the drink maximum for him and his buddies. He comes back yelling to his friends, spilling beer on the people around him, and being super obnoxious.
4.) The Snoop Dogg Worshiper – Male. 24. He smokes weed halfway through the concert and pretends it wasn’t him when security comes to escort him out. Then he spends the rest of the concert denying it was him and assuring security he’s “chill.”
5.) The Couple – 24 and 26. This couple is the PDA couple on public transportation that everyone hates. They try to have a special moment as a couple at the concert. Maybe they are the only two people who stand up in a seated theatre or maybe they slow dance during the entire set (yes I have actually witnessed this), whatever they do it causes rolled eyes and annoyance from all of the witnesses. This couple needs to learn how to read the room.
6.) The Pusher – Female. 19. “The Pusher” thinks she’s entitled to push everyone to get to the front because “it’s a concert and there’s gonna be pushing.” She’s probably drunk off of two Palm Bays and she will begin to get hostile and emotional when people call her out. She only knows the lyrics to the two most popular song but that doesn’t stop her from Snapchatting the entire concert and pretending she knows every song.
7.) The Hipster – Male. 25. This guy wears a beanie and he totally knew this band wayyy before they were popular… like even before their music was on any streaming platform. He found them on a YouTube video. He was the 17th viewer. He basically discovered this band.
8.) The Talker – Female. 24. We all know this one. She talks during the opener and by talk I mean obnoxiously talk so loud it is difficult to hear the opener. She may yell “oh wow they’re actually really good” to her friend so loudly that everyone can hear. YEAH GIRL IF YOU WOULD TONE IT DOWN YOU WOULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO HEAR HOW GOOD SHE WAS THE WHOLE TIME. “The Talker” will definitely tell her friends that she saw the opener perform in a “super intimate underground venue years ago” when they make it big.
9.) The Yeller – Female. 21. “The Yeller” is an attention seeker and tries to get the musician to notice her various times throughout the night by using very annoying techniques. She will scream “I LOVE YOU” as the artist is pouring their heart out as they are talking about a certain song. Without fail, this girl will always yell an inspiring speech because all she wants in life is acknowledgment from the artist. Please tone it down honey.
10.) The Screen Watcher – Unfortunately, “The Screen Watcher” this one is the most common which makes me sad. I see this so many times I have lost count. At some concerts I literally see a sea of screens recording what I’m seeing with my own eyes. It’s one thing to tape a song or two but it’s another thing to record the entire concert. Stop watching everything through the screen and live in the moment, it’s right in front of you!
On a more positive note, I have so met so many lovely people at concerts and festivals and the majority of people don’t fall into these categories. I hope you guys have enjoyed this angsty little rant and if you go to concerts please don’t be any of these people. Have fun, don’t be an asshole, and if you want to be at the front, go early.
FEMME RIOT 