10 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Dating Life

1. You Put Too Much Pressure on Every First Date

We all want to believe that each stop will be our last and maybe two months from now we wont have to stress about the possibility that the guy picking you up in 10mins is a serial killer, because he wont be a stranger anymore. Maybe that’s the excitement of where you’re at in life right now. This might be your last first date, that is the goal after all, but it’s likely that there will be a few more and maybe staying sane through all of that means not getting so worked up over meeting someone for the first time.

2. You Become an Extreme Internet Stalker

Ok, so you’re meeting up with a complete stranger from a dating app. It’s totally acceptable to dig up some dirt from their online past and make sure they seem to give off somewhat-non-murderer vibes but it’s probably best you don’t read through every tweet they’ve sent out since ’09 because it’s easy to develop a false sense of who this person is from what they put out there in the twitter-verse when they were 15 years old.

3. You Post On Social Media Because You Want Them To See It

So you went on a hot date, you haven’t heard from them and you really need them to know that you’re still killin’ it and living your best life. In reality, you’ve opened Snapchat every 10mins to make sure you didn’t miss a notification from them. Just me? We’ve all done it. It’s hard to keep mystery alive these days and maybe posting more frequently than normal is actually more detrimental than you can see in your post-date haze.

4. You Over Analyze Every Word They Say

I have a feeling that when they said, “Take care!” as you were stepping out of their car they didn’t mean “See you never!” I’m thinking they were simply being kind.

5. You Fall For Friends Because They Are Familiar

You start to realize that you and a friend are essentially in the most committed relationship you’ll ever be in without any of the fun* you are on a must-tell basis with each other so when anything (good or bad) occurs you’re both the first to know. Is this reminiscent of a real relationship? Wouldn’t that be easy? You could skip the introduction phase! Why hadn’t you considered this before? Probably because it isn’t a good fit so maybe don’t force it just because it’s familiar. Blurring the lines between friendships and relationships can get really ugly so don’t ruin a good thing. It’s not fate, it’s friendship.

6. You Look Past the Red Flags

Optimism is a wonderful trait but it often leads to you wasting your time. If you have a feeling you can’t shake or something is raising a question of their intensions, there’s probably some weight to it. Trust your hunches. I’m not saying drop them at the first sign of trouble but definitely take note of the little things that make you feel any less than comfortable. Communicate your concerns and go from there. Please, if they disappear from Facebook within 24 hours of asking for your number… don’t convince yourself that isn’t weird. It’s weird.

7. You Have Unrealistic Views of Romance

This is probably the most cliché way to sabotage all aspects of your love life. It’s best to remember that people are people and we all have our annoying quirks. There will be battles to fight and hills to climb. As long as the good outweighs the rest, I think you’re on the right track.

8. You’re Impatient

Building connection takes time. You need to give the whole thing a little more time and space to grow.

9. You Think There Has To Be an Answer to Every Question

There’s no blueprint to dating. It’s not a question of the right or wrong thing to say. It’s easy to get caught up in the norms but it’s more about being true to yourself and responding with your genuine reactions rather than a concocted response you think they want to hear. Try to be authentic, as risky as it may seem.

10. You Take Advice From People Who Aren’t Qualified to Give It

Why are you even reading this right now? I know nothing. I’m not Oprah. Take advice from Oprah… and only Oprah.